Cupertino

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Thoughts on Transition

Friends,

It has been far too long since my last post, but school and work will do that to one. For the record, this semester was the busiest of the 12 (twelve!) semesters I've experienced thus far, for both happy and sad reasons. One of our mothers fell asleep in the Lord (and that is not a euphemism, it is closer to reality than "death" is), Anne's mother, mine for a brief three years. I worked 20+ hours a week with University Mission and Ministry, completely editing their entire website and creating and publishing two campus-wide newsletters. I presented an academic paper on Aquinas and helped plan a workshop showcasing Marginal Theory. I completed and passed six weeks of Kaplan teacher training for the LSAT. I thoroughly studied (with "a little help from my friends") for and passed comprehensive exams and completed the coursework for an MA in Philosophy. We've awaited (and are awaiting) law school responses, witnessed baptisms, and look forward to four weddings. We've had awesome conversations with better friends, beautiful times with family, and powerful experiences that have helped bring life into focus and guide us "on the way."

Being the Philosopher that I am (entitled now), I've pondered all these things (treasured them up in my heart as it were) and come to some small conclusions:

1) I've read A Severe Mercy, I've read A Grief Observed, I know that those that die experience a reality that we dream of achieving all our hours on this earth... but that does not make the death of a loved one any easier. We're biological creatures, matter and form, creatures of habit, and when a piece of that manifold, that vasty interconnected web of human relationships is no longer there, even in the physical world... we miss him or her. There is no one on the other end of the phone, no one to ask for help, no one to request that you build a fence, no one to hold where there has always been someone before. It's more than that though, as CS Lewis knew so well, we miss that she is not there for the other strands of the web that were even more closely connected than we were: "You do not know loneliness until you've lost a spouse." I know I cannot explain it to someone who has not lost a dear loved one. I had not until March 11th and could not know before then.

2) Our culture, our society is not set up to care, primarily because the things worth caring about (indeed, those that everyone still does care about whether they admit it or not) are shunted away precisely because of their "careful-ness". We fear death, mortality, life, youth, age, so much... but it is what we care about most as well. To distract us from these "first things," these "urgent importants" we work, we set up schedules and deadline, we smoke, drink, fornicate, we drive fast and honk loud, we increase the ease of slipping into the biological pattern of experiences because it is our only "escape". But it is an escape just as much as shooting yourself is. It's giving up on the joy of living, it's giving up on the "battle to the death", it's giving up on yourself. Pull out, pull up, uproot before the poison gets you. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam and ask the further pertinent questions of your situation. Don't live the subtle, oh so subtle lie.

3) In studying for comps and in having a conversation with Dr. Stebbins, I realized the crucial, enriching value of understanding the history of ideas, not just history, not just philosophy, but the whole kit and kaboodle of human living through time. You've heard of Great Books programs and how valuable they are, but their value isn't in what is usually touted. Some of the primary reasons I've heard are: the value of a classical education, in reading "good" material, working through ideas somehow making you a better person... which are all noble and valuable things in themselves. The two primary (and operative is some way whether recognized or not) reasons are these: 1) in understanding history writ large you come to an understanding of yourself in the here-and-now in every decision you make, and 2) following along in a dynamic fashion with the flow of ideas, questions, and answers throughout history, your own questions and answers change. More on this later... it's the topic of a inchoate essay.

4) I find that my quality of life improves roughly in direct proportion to the amount of time I spend with friends and family. My GPA improves, I'm happier, more peaceful, more communicative, get more done... thank you all for your love and friendship! :D

Anyway, back into the rest of this post. I've created a reading list for the summer, and I thought I would share it because you all have such good comments and suggestions on further good reads! Here goes (don't laugh; I know I prolly won't finish it all this summer either):

Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Lorica

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through belief in the threeness,

Through confession of the oneness

Of the Creator of Creation.

I arise today

Through the strength of Christ's birth with His baptism,

Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial,

Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension,

Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of Doom.

I arise today

Through the strength of the love of the Cherubim,

In the obedience of angels,

In the service of archangels,

In the hope of the resurrection to meet with reward,

In the prayers of patriarchs,

In prediction of prophets,

In preaching of apostles,

In faith of confessors,

In innocence of holy virgins,

In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today

Through the strength of heaven;

Light of sun,

Radiance of moon,

Splendor of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of wind,

Depth of sea,

Stability of earth,

Firmness of rock.

I arise today

Through God's strength to pilot me:

God's might to uphold me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me,

God's ear to hear me,

God's word to speak to me,

God's hand to guard me,

God's way to lie before me,

God's shield to protect me,

God's host to save me,

From snares of devils,

From temptation of vices,

From everyone who shall wish me ill,

Afar and near,

Alone and in a multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,

Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,

Against incantations of false prophets,

Against black laws of pagandom,

Against false laws of heretics,

Against craft of idolatry,

Against spells of women and smiths and wizards,

Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

Christ to shield me today

Against poising, against burning,

Against drowning, against wounding,

So there come to me abundance of reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down,

Christ when I sit down,

Christ when I arise,

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in the eye of everyone who sees me,

Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through belief in the threeness,

Through confession of the oneness

Of the Creator of Creation.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

As You Like It

Annie and I watched Branagh's 2006 version of Shakespeare's As You Like It last night and it was delightful! I recommend it to all who are fans of Branagh's work... a few choice sections from the master of English prose:

I must have liberty
Withal, as large a charter as the wind,
To blow on whom I please.

Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,
Hath not old custom made this life more sweet
Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods
More free from peril than the envious court?
Here feel we not the penalty of Adam,
The seasons’ difference, as the icy fang
And churlish chiding of the winter’s wind,
Which when it bites and blows upon my body
Even till I shrink with cold, I smile, and say
’This is no flattery. These are counsellors
That feelingly persuade me what I am.’
Sweet are the uses of adversity
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.

All the world's a stage,/And all the men and women merely players./They have their exits and their entrances/And each man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.

It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue; but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs no bush, ‘tis true that a good play needs no epilogue. Yet to good wine they do use good bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play! I am not furnished like a beggar, therefore to beg will not become me. My way is to conjure you; and I’ll begin with the women. I charge you, O women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as please you. And I charge you, O men, for the love you bear to women—as I perceive by your simpering none of you hates them— that between you and the women the play may please. If I were a woman I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked me, and breaths that I defied not. And I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths will for my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.